Guess who won 50 bucks!

In a contest for bad behavior!

Oh.....that would be this one.

A couple weeks ago my sister told me I needed to enter a contest her pet store was sponsoring because they wanted to see photos and hear stories about bad pet behavior. Colleen said everyone likes to hear stories about bad turtles, how could Michael Ray not deserve first prize?

Apparently she was right because last week they let me know that Michael Ray had won the prize for most badly behaved..... reptile. He won a competition competing against just reptiles? Even if Michael Ray was in a competition with dog bed shredding puppies (all really good examples of bad behavior),  Michael Ray still would have won. He's just that bad.

This was the photo that won:

And years later....here's a photo of another one of the doors he created (but this time on the other side). Yes, I do replace the screen occasionally but it's always temporary because Michael Ray just forces himself through the next one. A closed door to Michael Ray is just a temporary obstruction. As I've said many times before, a turtle is a very determined thing with no deadline. However long it takes to get something done, they will use up all the time they have left in this world to get whatever they want done. You can't fight that kind of determination.

Please note how his self created "doors" follow the shape of his shell exactly. I know it's horrible to live like this but it does make me laugh.

Yes. I'm appalled I have such a bad turtle....but also kind of proud. To celebrate his accomplishment, Michael Ray got served a big chunk of watermelon every day last week....and in typical Michael Ray style, he was not going to share. He also doesn't like it when I watch him eat so he picked up his watermelon to wander off to eat privately. That didn't work out so great because with a watermelon section that big and a turtle being only so tall, it took him a while to figure out he couldn't see where he was going...

...and then of course Michael Ray got mad, dropped the watermelon and then stomped off (but he did return later to finish it off when he knew I was gone).

Here's what happened the next day when I thought that Michael Ray and Cathy Jean could probably share a piece of watermelon together. I thought maybe he had calmed down a bit.... but I think he still knows he's a champion of something because why else show off like this?

Since Cathy Jean is usually about 23 hours behind Michael when there are bad things to learn, she now picks up her watermelon piece and waves it in the air aiming for her brother's head too.

One prize for bad behavior but now I have two bad turtles ready for the next competition. :-P


I'm plugging the pet store (Pet Supplies Plus) because they were so nice and the story they wrote was so complimentary for such a bad turtle....I'm not sure how to link a Facebook page but try this link and then scroll down to July 24, 2016 to read more about my stinker of a turtle.

More Michael Ray...

Caladiums before Michael Ray and his new found climbing and stomping skills:

Caladiums after Michael Ray used his new found climbing/stomping skills:

I am not going to post a picture of what he did just one day later. It's just so....... why do turtles have to be so darn thorough?

When I come home from work now, Michael Ray is at the back door pushing, pushing, pushing. Behind him are all sorts of plants that have been thrown over the deck or turned over or if they can't get turned over, he pulls himself up over the edge of the pots and plants his front feet in as far as they will go (I haven't seen this....yet......but I know what went on because of the deep "tracks" he leaves behind). I did remove a lot of plants from the deck but not all of them.....I thought some of them were in pots too tall for him to get to......I guess that's not a problem if a turtle also puts in an 8+ hour day.

I came home from work last Thursday to find that Michael had been busy rearranging furniture on the deck (a thing he loves to do when he sometimes finds himself loose in the house). The glider needed to be reset at an angle...

And here he is working on moving a storage bench to another angle...

He is a very busy turtle. This was his Friday project. Do I even need to make a comment here?

True. That old whiskey barrel was falling apart (that clay pot used to hold a horsetail which died when the barrel couldn't hold water anymore)...but only 2 or 3 of the staves had fallen off. Michael just finished the job. He also moved a couple trees in 5 gallon pots away from the fence so he could have his old route back.

It's hard to live with a turtle who is too hot. Michael can't put up with the heat. I'm kind of tired of putting up with him. What to do....what to do...

Turns out a fresh tomato or a plate of sliced strawberries is all a turtle needs to make him happy.

And that means happiness for me too because once Michael is full of tomatoes or strawberries or a slice of watermelon, he loses interest in climbing the deck steps for the rest of the day. We have finally worked things out. I hear him stomping up the deck steps and I race out with something red and delicious and life is back to normal.

For now.

Happy Hatchdays

The always good and always sweet Starlinka turned 11 years old in June!

Stella turned 21 in April but unlike Adele, she's not going to make anyone cry about it.

And then there were the twins....the terrible, terrible, no longer teenager twins.

Michael Ray and Cathy Jean may have turned 20 years old last month but they certainly didn't get any more mature.

Nonetheless, everyone had a happy hatchday...some just involved more cleanup afterwards than others. :-/

Beating the heat

A couple weeks ago I took a full week off from work and although I had plans to get a lot of things done (a lot!), I ended up just sitting on the deck, knitting, with all my pets around me, in glorious weather......alllllllll week........every day. It was great. Everyone immediately got into the rhythm of being served treats on demand, they just had to get my attention.

A good staredown from a turtle first thing in the morning....

...resulted in watermelon before breakfast.

Violet tried to get in some quantity sleep but with what was going on at the suddenly 24/7 Coontina, it was hard work because the birds were just several feet away with decidedly bottomless stomachs.

Starlinka and Shugg were fed every hard-shelled worm, junebug, rolypoly I could find hiding under the potted plants. Starlinka daintily bashed her rolypolies senseless before swallowing them, savoring them individually, one by one.

Shugg could eat 2 dozen rolypolies before I even opened up my hand in his cage (rolypolies will scuttle away or leap to the ground and then scuttle away unless you contain them in a fist). I swear that bird was screaming MORE, MOOOOOOOOORE when he discovered he had eaten all the rolypolies I had carried to him. Shugg had become an expert at mimicking that awful sound baby grackles make when they follow their parents around waiting for something more to eat (what they were doing in early June). More. MORRRRRRRRRE.

So I obliged by getting m o r e.

I've been growing a lot of seeds this year and have been transplanting the little seedlings into bigger six-packs when they needed it. Michael got right on in there for some reason and stomped all over my feet because I was in his way. No problem. I just moved out of his way.

He wasn't trying to get my attention though....he just wanted to get up those deck steps. Michael can usually get up one step but he surprised me by making it up two!

Every day Michael would try and climb those steps and he got better and better until he finally made it all the way up. I admit I was impressed but at the same time, horrified.

This is the kind of trail he leaves when he climbs the steps...

What got in his way was kicked to the side....some of those plants found themselves airborne and landing in the fishpond without their pots. No plant was safe from turtle traffic now.

Cathy Jean, who is usually 23 hours behind whatever Michael figures out, was right behind him with this new activity.

She's not as calculating and determined as Michael and (lucky for me) decided to just settle in at the bottom and watch her brother climb up the steps until he disappeared from her sight.

The technique is pretty interesting though. Lift up, turn sideways, lift up, turn sideways, repeat until you get to where you want to go or run out of room. I've also seen Michael hook a foot into the saucer of some of the bigger plants on the deck steps because when they're well watered, they are heavy and are able to help leverage a determined turtle up, up, up.

And those potted plants near the deck steps, which I thought were too tall for him to get at, are also now being used as steps to get up and steps to get down when a turtle runs out of room.

This is what four o'clocks (Mirabilis jalapa) look like before Michael gets at them:

And this is what they look like after:

It does kind of make me laugh (kind of) to see the trail of toppled plants he leaves behind (I've since moved most of those plants on and around the deck steps to recover in another part of the backyard where they should be safe....if turtles don't learn how to hop onto old benches...).

Michael had been adamant about getting into the house even though I didn't understand why because it really hadn't been that hot outside (it's different this past week though.....it's been in the 100s every single day). Michael obviously had other thoughts about weather than I did. Turtles are cold blooded and when it gets hot, they need to find some place cool to cool down and Michael Ray knows all about houses and how they have air conditioning. I think he knew that it was going to get hot, really hot, and he needed to find a place to camp out until it changed to a temperature that a turtle considers pleasant.

So I gave up and just let him in. It was too pretty a day for me to spend it indoors so I closed the door and stayed outside sitting on the deck, knitting, with all of my animals around me except for one named Michael Ray.

I started hearing sounds coming from inside the house....the usual ones when there is a turtle loose in the house. Furniture being moved, chairs transferred to other rooms, and then some unusual sounds like trash cans being turned over, things falling....crashing. I went inside to see what was going on but couldn't find Michael in his usual spots....despite him leaving a trail of destruction where he had been (which he does so well). I saw that the bathroom door was shut and when I tried to open it, Michael was on the other side pushing back. Smart thinking. Tile floor and a vent blasting cold air and he was not going to share....Michael had settled in and he was not going to move if he could help it. Ever.

Now when I came home from work (after putting Michael outside in the morning) this is what I see...

What can you do? I just open the back door and let Michael in. No point in trying to fight that kind of determination. I can't win. I try.......but I never win when it's me against one focused turtle.

Watching a turtle expertly climb those steps and help himself into the house is really something else to watch...

....because that's what Michael Ray is. Something else.

He now knows how to climb up the steps and if I'm not there to open the door, he knows how to climb back down. It's gotten to the point where I just leave the back door open when I'm home. He's worse than Violet with the wanting out and wanting in when he's near a door.

I've got to watch this open door policy when it starts to get dark at night though......... last Sunday Eddie and Violet were nodding at something in the living room. I thought it was Stella. It wasn't. It was a bat hanging on the drapes. It flew out the back door after a couple minutes after bonking my head and Eddie's while it screamed its little head off trying to figure out how to get out. I didn't know bats were so darn loud when they used their sonar (!!!) but I finally got him out and shut the door. And then......another bat appeared in the house. :-/

Terrible happens in twos....just like turtles.

Happy as a 25.8 pound pea.

That would be Michael Ray.

Michael has decided to get those daffodils out of the way since their blooms are gone (note to future self.....what a crazy winter, what a crazy spring....in a couple days 90 degree weather starts.....and it's still March!!!!!).

Michael's passion is to take down the peonies as soon as he can every year but this year he seems to be pacing himself since there are so few clumps of stalks coming up. Looks like some time will be spent flattening the daffodils while he circles the peonies and calculates when his intolerance for them is at its peak.

I'm not going to get mad at him. First, this has been going on for years.........decades even. But this morning he did something nice. It's that transitional time of year where the turtles can go outdoors but still too cold for them to be out there 24/7. If the temperature is warm enough in the morning, I put them out. At night I bring them in and let them find their sleeping spots in the house (who wants to sleep in a stinky basement if they don't have to?). So this morning, I was looking for Michael and found him in the back room, under the printer...but he had moved a big plastic bin from somewhere that I had forgotten about so completely that I did not even recognize any of the clothes that were in it. But they were clean.......and heck, completely new outfits I did not have to shop for, and when I tried them on, they actually fit.

So I was happy as a pea (but substantially more than Michael's 25.8) and when I drove down the street on my way to work and saw a police officer on his motorcycle at a crosswalk.....I waved.

That is just reckless behavior, I knew that after I waved, but it was such a pretty day....why should anything happen?

Within a minute, flashing lights were right behind me.

Why oh why do police officers always introduce themselves with a "Do you know what you just did?" Errrgh. At least his question was preceded with a statement that it was not my driving speed......turns out it was my front license plate. It was missing.

Well, of course it was. I had no idea where to attach the front license plate when I bought the car and I was not about to start drilling holes into it. I had him point out where I should put the plate and then asked him whether I needed a drill bit for metal or if I was drilling into plastic, what size screws, etc. etc. Poor Officer Whipple was dealing with a crafter and he soon focused on getting me on my way and out of his. I was written up with a non-hazardous/no fine violation.

When I was talking with Jeff at work about my interaction with the police officer, we both had to wonder why police officers never say hello, they always start out with a "Do you know what you just did?" Jeff said he heard a comedian make a comment on that one time. The comedian said he liked to run red lights when it was raining. And when the cop would stop him and ask him, "Do you know what you just did?," the comedian would reply to the officer standing in the pouring rain, "Yes. And do you know why?"

Well, today there was no rain...just beautiful sunshine. However, yesterday it did rain......even though there were no clouds in the sky. If I wanted to get back at a police officer by making him stand in the rain, it was not going to work if he was standing in sunshine at the same time.

Spring this year has just been too darn pretty. Turtles can't quite take down all the peonies when given the opportunity. Police officers can't quite write a ticket for an infraction (albeit a very minor, minor, minor one). Too much prettiness. And every day, it just gets prettier.

It's been an out of the ordinary spring resulting in out of the ordinary behavior and I'm loving it.

Too hot for one turtle

No real story here...more of a paragraph really...because it's just too hot to say or think anything other than that it's......HOT.

It was hot this morning...

And it's hotter now...

The turtles were served watermelon when I got home from work today.

However, Cathy Jean walked away from the watermelon and gave me a long and pitiful look.

When I came back outside, she was at the bottom of the steps trying to get into the house. Since I was not picking up on her concentrated telepathic wishes, she was just going to get inside that air conditioned house herself.

I brought her in for the night while Starlinka (on her favorite sconce) observed Cathy Jean select the best sleeping spot for the night.

And she's not telling me where it is. I have no idea where Cathy is now...but I know she's passed out somewhere and is blissfully cool.

Outdoors....someone now had the watermelon all to himself. Who cares about temperature when you suddenly find yourself with a serving of watermelon for two?

Crazy days of winter

Last Sunday I drove to Aussie's Acers (how you spell "acres" in the country...bear with me while I test out new names for that "acerage" of mine...and Aussie's) and spent the day in the snow with the dogs. This was the snow that was in the process of melting from the blizzard a couple weeks ago.

But then on Thursday, the temperature soared into the 70s. That meant pent up turtles could be released outdoors.

Cathy has been trying to escape from her tank all winter. Was she excited to be outdoors again?

Hard to tell.

To have a salad picnic outdoors?

Also, hard to tell.

But what about Michael (with a cobweb on his nose)?

For some reason there was an urgency to get back into the house by trying to climb the steps...

But when he saw me looking at him, he reconsidered and headed off to his remembered favorite spot...

... that prime one square foot area between the fence and the Japanese kerria.

How excited was Violet about this gorgeous day?

Not much.

I cleared some leaves and saw that some daffodils had poked their little heads above ground. I was excited to see that. But the daffodils? They seemed tentative about this whole spring thing too which is probably why they were still undercover.

Turtles, cats, daffodils...why oh why can't they be more like dogs?

In your face and enthusiastic about absolutely everything 100% all the time!

Come on spring, get moving! Show me some tracks.